Pregnant & the Holidays

I had assumed this would be a great time! Think about it! Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner with a pregnant appetite?? I already have the belly, whos to stop me from pigging out? What I forgot was that I would be spending the holiday season at home since I'm too far along to travel. That means the cooking and cleaning and decorating fell upon my swollen sausage fingered hands.

Thanksgiving went smoothly enough. I had to keep it simple.

(clockwise) broccoli & cauliflower, mashed tatos, cranberry sauce, stuffing, asparagus and of course turkey

the food turned out great even though I was nervous cooking. I always get nervous when I have to make a very large meal. I gained back any weight that was lost from sweating in the hot kitchen. But eating pregnant is much different from non gestational ingesting. The trick is to eat smaller meals more frequently. Simple enough but very hard to put into action when staring down a holiday dinner spread.
cooking this was exhausting but I got through it and had high hopes for Christmas. Lets not get ahead of ourselves though. Way before we think about Christmas dinner, we decorate. well most of us.
I LOVE holiday decorating! From Halloween all the way till New Years Eve!! However, pregnant me does not share in the enthusiasm. In fact I could barely get pregnant me motivated to put anything up! Just retrieving the bins with the decorations in them was a hassle, then opening them and unpacking.... soon my beloved nutcrackers became a beyond irritating nuisance! Everything that was put high up became a death defying feat even though it just required a chair to stand on. Ridiculous! but I managed to put out some stuff. Again following the motto: Keep it Simple!

I originally had my heart set on a real tree this year since we finally have the space. Then I thought about the upkeep and the energy to have to pick one out... so yea we got another faker. But this is an upgrade from the 4footer that we used before. I was so tired after decorating that B****! LOL.I also Put out some mistletoe, garland and those damned nutcrackers but the pictures aren't very flattering.

Then came the lights. I had been dreaming of what kind of lights I would do for the outside decorations. I imagined the nativity story all lit up, Santa and his reindeer smiling and sleigh riding in the middle of the front yard, a giant snow man and elaborate illuminations upon the roof that would make Clark Griswald drool jealousy.
(if this reference confuses u, see National Lampoons Christmas Vaca.)
anyways.. this is all I had energy for

Dont get me wrong though. I think it came out wonderful :) Special thanx to my husband!!

And i went simple on dinner too. Just ham and roasted red tatos with asparagus. Not so exhausting but my growing belly made it a little more difficult to digest everything comfortably!  
speaking of, heres a holiday belly shot

Thank Goodness for holiday maternity sweaters :P

Behind that smile is one exhausted lady. And im no idiot. I know nxt year will be just as tiring for different reasons. I will be chasing gummy bear around in her little holiday dress while she wreaks havoc on my decorations and tries to pull down the tree. She'll likely make cooking waay more difficult and be a picky eater... but honestly, i can not wait for that! Sharing the holidays with her and making new traditions and seeing her face while she absorbs everything.. well thats motivation enough to endure the end of this pregnancy, labor and the inevitable delivery.

I hope everyone had happy holidays. Heres to nxt year which will be a whole new adventure!


before I end this post I'd like to give a shout out to my Legacy Theater friends for incorporating me into the cast party. I cant remember if I included it in my Last entry. During the cast party they gave me gifts for my little one. Like a second baby shower. It was very thoughtful and I am very VERY thankful for it! I have to get the list of who gave me what so that I can thank them personally.
ok thats all for now :D i'll close with a picture of the Christmas Carol cast.

update

To anyone who reads this, sorry I haven't written anything in a while! I have just been busy. I think I should do an update/recap post before I tackle any specific topic. not that this blog is well organized LOL, I tend to go all over the place. But anyways, heres what I have been up to

Finished the run of A Christmas Carol, which was the holiday show at the local community theater company where I participate. I think it was a success. It got more and more tiring for me though. just putting on my costume became a battle. tights on pregnant women aren't fun. *side note. I shouldve looked into maternity tights, if such a thing exists.* As if being tired wasnt enough, random patrons would make comments after the show asking if my baby bump was real or a prop. I wanted to say "honey what I wouldn't give to take this thing off every night." but that might have been misconstrued. I'd like to take a moment and thank God that my costume fit for the entire run because my lil gummy bear has just been making my tummy grow and Grow and GROW! but i'll get to my body changes in a bit.

So after A Christmas Carol came Christmas! I think thats what my nxt post will be about so i'll just be quick here. It came, was nice and it is now boxing day! so HAPPY BOXING DAY! if you dont know what that is.. I hear google is mighty informative ;)sry, I just dont want to ramble about too many things in this entry.

My body changes since last I posted.
well I've gotten even bigger. As if that wouldn't be obvious. My back hurts worse, my feet are now swollen all the time, braxton hicks have gotten more intense but aren't unbearable and never have a pattern (which is good!! :P) Waddling has become my primary means of foot transportation. It takes me twice as long to get off the couch or anything with cushion lol. I have to rock back and forth kind of turtlelike and hope momentum will propel me forward. Oh and as if this was even possible, I have to urinate even MORE frequently. i know, what??.
I also found out that I was dangerously anemic. Got some handy dandy iron supplements from my Dr so I get to add them to the handful of vitamins that I take daily. I wish these things were in liquid form because I cant stand swallowing pills. So hopefully next time anyone at that cuckoo facility (aka the obstetricians office) takes my blood my iron will be at a safer level. I dont mean to insult them but the things they overlook astound me! ha I should make a post just ranting about that place but i wont.

ok this is it for now. mostly complaints. Sorry about that! there are plus sides though. I am 4weeks away from the second due date that I was given so thats very exciting! I'll try to make another post when my cranial is more up to it. Until then.. :)

Hello 3rd Trimester.

I thought for this post I would talk about how the pregnancy has been going lately and also touch onto the topic of Epilepsy since November is epilepsy awareness month and discuss my feelings towards the 3rd trimester. 

So far things have progressed nicely! I fit in less pre-preg clothes which means I need to get more maternity items. *gag to clothing shopping*. I am also hoping we don't get a very cold winter since I have a hunch that  none of my cold weather coats will zip closed. I should also invest in shoes or boots that zip or velcro or just slip on. tying laces is way too much work ;)

Housework has become a burden because simple things like bending down to pick something off the floor reduce me to huffing and puffing like an old person. "I am wiped out!" this is a current thought during the day while I try to get things done. I unfortunately enough, was excluded from the group of women who get more energy during the 2nd tri. I did stop vomiting though! and that was a blessing!!! but I have heard that some 1st tri symptoms can return towards the end. Please let it not be the nausea that returns!

My pregnant brain has decided that the english language is overrated. I cant remember words mid sentence. Only better way to describe this is with an example:
"Hey, did you get the umm.. uhh... gimme a second.................. OH mail! wait.......what was I talking about?....OH YEA did you get the mail today?" *FAIL*
at this rate it will be a miracle if I remember my name when I get to the home stretch.

On a more positive note, my lil gummy bear is doing well! she is still quite active in the womb. Shes bigger now so those cute pokes and flutters have become pointy feet, knees, elbows and hands jabbing away at my organs. So much going on in there that I cant keep track! I have also determined that my bladder is very comfy. It must be like a posturepedic mattress. Or at least thats my guess which is based off the fact that she lays on it CONSTANTLY lol.

Pregnant and Epileptic
So important I underlined it :). In honor of this months awareness I'll talk about how its been dealing with the neurological disorder and creating a life at the same time.
When my husband and I decided to start having children the first thing I did was talk to my neurologist about weening off of my antiepileptic meds. Not an easy task with the withdrawal symptoms but I felt it was worth it. I wouldn't suggest this unless you've spoken with your doctor and determined that its the best solution. For me it was because I had an EEG thats results were good and I felt it was worth the risk of going off the meds to prevent birth defects.
After we found out we were expecting I had to be very careful through the first tri. This goes with any pregnancy but with mine I had to constantly stay in tuned with my seizure threshold. Anything from being dehydrated, not eating enough, sleep deprivation or just stress can lower the threshold which would make me more proned to a seizure at that moment.
Things have gotten a little easier since then because the miscarriage rate had decreased but it hasn't disappeared. A constant stress in my life right now is wondering if something will happen and i'll see, hear or smell an aura which will lead to a seizure. I dont think I have to explain why falling down and convulsing would be bad for a baby in a womb.
In the beginning of my 2nd trimester we were worried because I started getting migraines. Had to get another EEG to make sure they weren't auras and that there was no seizure activity in my brain. That was an uncomfortable night/day. 24hrs with wires attached to your head when you have to pee every hour obviously isn't a party :P
Since I am now into my 3rd trimester I worry a tad less. Migraines are gone for now and I am used to being pregnant. But my concerns now focus around whether my brain will tolerate labor contractions or if it will throw me into a seizure. Pain can be a trigger for some people. If this is the case then I am in for a rough labor.
Dont get me wrong, if I were to have an aura today or feel "funny" I would race to my doctor and get back on my meds immediately!! But since I have been in fairly good health and my lil one is doing well things are looking positive.  Heres hoping this stays under control through the rest of the 9months!

~Before I end this post I'd like to discuss entering the 3rd trimester. I have been blessed with light braxton hicks for now. In a week they could be horrible but right now I am lucky because I would classify them as uncomfortable but not painful. I don't feel ready to already be at the last trimester but at the same time I am feeling more and more fed up with this pregnancy. So theres basically 2 trains of thought.
1. Thank goodness! Last Trimester couldnt get here soon enough! Im so ready to get my lil one out of me!
2. Oh my.. i am NOT ready. Time please slow down!

All I can say is Its a good thing I still have that. Time. For now I just keep chipping away at my to do list :)  

Lilianna in 4D. I added the captions all over the pic because its kind of hard to make everything out. Trust me though, shes beautiful!!!!

Pregnant & traveling. The busy trip home

Before I start this post I want to send another congratulations to my sister and her husband!

dont the newlyweds look amazing?

The Drive.

The wedding was held at a lovely Inn thats located about 20 minutes away from where most of my family lives. Problem though! I live about 13-14hrs away from them. This meant a road trip because we were taking our dogs. Normally I would have been excited but not pregnant me. Pregnant me could think of nothing but the many stops we would be making so I could pee. Bladder issues aside though, still had to deal with the fact that since my belly has expanded, I get uncomfortable in a car for more than 15min. let alone an entire day of traveling. We made it to my hometown by 11:30 at night I think.
The Shower. (#1)
 Read till the end and the #1 will make sense.
So we arrive late at night and I had to go to bed right away because my sisters surprise shower was the next day! I wake up early and get ready then headed to the venue with the decorations. The place is amazing! But some of my decorations, the ones that hang from the ceiling, posed a problem. I couldn't use a chair because no one wants to see a prego lady standing precariously on a stool and I'm also only 5'3. lets face it.. I needed a ladder. But a ladder I did not have. Thankfully an employee offered to help.
So pretty balloons and streamers set and now all that was left was awaiting guests. The maid of honor and her mother showed up first and mentioned some road issues. I figured it would be cleared up soon. Little did I know that I had planned a bridal shower at a restaurant that was on the street that gets blocked once a year for a certain parade.. and that parade was the same day as the shower!!! *face palm*. pretty much everyone was late. They all had to contend with the traffic issues going on outside. My mother, god bless her, yelled at a cop when he told her she couldn't come down the street after it had been blocked off. lol I don't condone yelling at police officers but Thank goodness she did! Otherwise the bridal shower would've been minus the bride since she was riding with my mom.
So after the guests settled and we had a good laugh about the circumstances, it was a pretty good time!! Watching my sister open her gifts and gush over the attention was priceless. Especially after she told me she didn't want a shower. Shows how well I listen!
Rehearse then Rehearsal dinner.
After a long day of traveling then a hectic first day back you'd think I would want to rest. Wrong!.. well right! but resting was an impossibility. I had an early rehearsal to get to. It was pretty straight forward. Stand here. Walk down the isle without tripping and falling! Some would say boring but I had a good time.
After the rehearsal it was time to gather our things from my mother inlaws and head to the Inn to check in! Once we got there I went to check on my sister and she was in crisis! A wine crisis!! so off we (the hubby and i) went on a wine run. And this wasn't easy. She wanted a specific wine from a specific part of new zealand i think? I dunno. Oenology is far beyond my grasp of things. Once we found the brand the liquor store cashier said he needed BOTH our IDs. ut oh.. definitely left my purse at the Inn. I could've explained that I was on an errand from a bride and it wasn't for me but I somehow thought my big pregnant belly was an obvious indicator that I would not be drinking it. I am a nice person but my pregnancy patience is very very thin! I think this employee sensed that I was about to fly off the handle and just settled for asking my birth year.
So I get back to my sisters room to relax and chat while SHE enjoys the wine and not me and get ready for dinner. Nothing says "I feel pretty" like a big ole baby bump. Just kidding! I felt like a decorated baby beluga. But dinner was fun. The food was good and I met more of my future brother inlaws family!
The Big Day.
So I did the shower then the rehearsal and dinner. NOW I should relax a little before the wedding, right? wrong again! Early breakfast (which my morning sickness ruined) then to the Spa for our hair appointments. I have never gotten my hair done in a salon before so I was a little nervous that I wouldn't like it. I just sat there chatting with the hairdresser while she tugged, clipped, pinned, curled and sprayed my hair into something presentable. When she showed me the finished product I was floored! She did a brilliant job. I dont know what the style was.. a low bun with loopy things and some braids? It looked amazing! But it was put to shame quickly when my sisters hair was finished! if mine looked amazing then hers looked fucking magical! (please excuse the language but I was emotional) I cried when they put on her veil. The vision of beauty!
Now the moment of truth as I had to get into my bridesmaid dress. I crossed my toes and fingers and prayed that it would fit. if your wondering why it wouldnt fit you can refer back to halfway there who shrank all my clothes Huge sigh of relief moment when I realized it zipped all the way up and fit fine :D Now I had real work to do. Gotta get the bride ready. Why are wedding dresses made so that you need help into them? no simple zipper. More like hundreds of buttons and lacy clasps. It took 3 or 4 people to help but we got the job done and she looked stunning! I think I held in my tears but not for long. I cried at the church.. a LOT. and then at the reception too. Here are some of the main tearjerkers:

walking down the isle with my dad

First dance

Father daughter dance

After the reception dialed down we headed over to an after party that was in one of the rooms. Normally I wouldve stayed up and gotten completely drunk but not pregnant me. Nope pregnant me only wanted to sleep. The hubby and I chatted with family for a lil while then headed to our room and passed out lol. Well he passed out and I woke up many times to urinate.

It was a breathtaking event! I am so happy to have been there and proud of my sister and ecstatic to watch her and her husband share their lives! I have no regrets.. well no i DO have one. Heels were a bad idea! I went against better judgement and got a pair because my husband is so much taller than me but my preggy feet had swelled up so much that I only wore them until the reception started.

So the wedding was over and it was time to relax... nope I'm being a joker again! More like cram in as much time with my inlaws and my nephews and the rest of my family as possible. I think we escaped for a few hours of retail therapy and that was the only time that my husband and I did anything by ourselves. We also attended an annual festival called "The Apple Squeeze" which was fun but alot of walking! Oh and had dinner at a relatives house. I ate soo much lol
The Shower.( #2)
I had been SOO preoccupied planning the brides shower that I neglected to realize that something else was being planned right under my nose. My original plan was to fly back home later this month and have a baby shower and just ask for gift cards. My plan, however, differed from the actual plan. THAT plan was a surprise baby shower the day before we left. A few people had almost spilled the beans and I had gotten briefly suspicious but with all my energy revolved around the wedding, I soon forgot all about anything else. It was tons of fun! I got a bunch of really cute items and it was just nice to celebrate it with family.
After that I was beat again. Noo energy. My mother inlaw and husband assembled the big item to make sure all the pieces were there and then took it apart so we could fit it in our vehicle. Luckily it wasn't a big shower so we didn't get a bunch of things that we would have to ship back to our address. I think it was very successful! and the food was great. Special thanx to everyone that was able to make it! I'll be sending you all Thank you Cards soon as I gather your addresses :)
Drive back
The drive back was much more laid back. Although I had a restroom incident where the gas station attendant asked if I was alright. Wasn't in there that long but apparently if a pregnant woman goes to the bathroom in a public restroom people worry that shes giving birth lol. Its good to be back in my own place again. Although I can feel the nesting phase starting up so I am anxious with home improvement projects swirling through my head! My nxt post will probably be about how I went crazy cleaning and organizing.
Thanx to anyone who finishes reading this post. Its a loong one! but It was very busy trip with lots of details to share! I promise i'll make the nxt one shorter ;)

Half way there. Who shrank all my clothes?

Alot of people refer to the 20week mark as the half way point! To celebrate i'd like to discuss maternity clothes but before I get into that i'd like to briefly talk about weight gain during pregnancy and some recent bad luck.
I feel that as long as your being conscious about what your eating, choosing healthier things and your doctor hasn't expressed a concern with your weight the extra pounds shouldn't be something to worry about. But I have terrible timing!
Most recently my bad luck has been with a certain bridesmaid dress that was ordered before a certain person knew her body was housing a little gummy bear! When I found out that I was pregnant I called and ordered the nxt size up. I figured that since I would be just into my second tri by the time of the wedding I wouldn't be that much bigger yet. Well little did I know that a pregnant tummy can go from cute barely noticeable bump to full on big ole baby belly in a very short amount of time.Once my little one decided she wanted to be big my bump just took off!!

Heres an illustration of what I am talking about

So yea.. when my dress came in it was obviously not going to fit. To sum up my disasterous alterations appointment, I am now in a dress thats two sizes larger and also taken out on each side as much as possible. AND its still snug. So snug that i'll be crossing my fingers to get into it for the day of the wedding. Thank god I am apart of a very understanding bridal party and am not the bride! She will get the attention since shes going to look absolutely stunning so I'm not worried about looking good and I have a formal jacket that I can throw on if the zipper doesn't go all the way up ;)

This growing belly isnt all bad though. One major plus is that I finally fit into maternity sizes!! Early on, before the bump, it was annoying because at first I didn't look pregnant at all. Then when I got a lil bump I just looked bloated. So now people can clearly see that I'm pregnant because now I have the proof! But the proof is expensive to clothe.

I had no idea maternity clothing would be so expensive. Not Fair! I kept the shopping trip small but did got a few items! Like bras. And HOLY MOLY are they comfy. Well compared to what I was wearing!! The first time I put on a maternity/nursing bra that fit it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders LOL. I actually let out an audible sigh of relief while in the dressing room! Like drinking a nice cold glass of water on a smoldering day. Or a Coca Cola commercial. I wanted to run through a field singing like Julie Andrews.... Ok now I'm just getting carried away. Running through a field sounds absolutely exhausting. But seriously, maternity nursing bras are the best. Definitely worth spending money on.

I am still using rubber bands and hair ties on my regular pants. Its a good trick for quick errands because it holds the pants on but isn't comfortable at all lol. I have 1 pair of maternity pants and cant wait to wear em.
The little things like comfort go a long way for me. They help keep me from dwelling on the negatives of a changing body. Theres nothing good about waking up one morning and thinking all of my clothing shrank. Especially in todays society. But every time I feel down about my growing tummy I just try to imagine my little gummy bears face and how this is all for her :)

Strange sensation a.k.a babies first kicks

Another big moment of pregnancy is the first time a woman can actually feel the baby moving. They have been moving for a while but theres a special moment when it finally becomes pronounced enough to feel. I hadn't realized that it felt so different for every woman. I heard sooo many different descriptions.
~it feels like a gas bubble
~sort of like a hunger growl
~it feels like a flutter
~I felt a little poke
~it tickled me at first
~was the same sensation as butterflies
etc.. you get the idea.
All helpful ways of describing it but I was feeling none of these things and it was a little disappointing. Especially since my lil gummy bear is quite active! During the ultrasounds it looks like shes having dance parties in my uterus. She squirms, kicks, plays with her hands.. very active. My husband and I joked that she was training to be the next American Ninja Warrior.

So why all this movement but not feeling a thing? beats me. All I know is one night (opening night of an improv show) sitting back stage I got my first little flutter/poke/bubble.. whatever you want to call it. Apparently she was wishing mommy good luck! instead of saying break a leg she just kicked me. It was a wonderful and strange moment lol. After that it became more and more obvious that she is moving around in there, without the help of an ultrasound tech. My husband can even feel her move and kick now too. Its harder for him though because she usually stops when he puts his hand there. I think its because she is comforted by him and has no reason to squirm.

As far as movement I just hope she slows down when I am nearing the end and it starts getting painful. But until that time she can dance and kick all she wants. Lately I am relating pregnancy to a plane ride. The ride itself can be tedious. The seat is uncomfortable and the airline food is gross and may make you sick to your stomach but the destination is worth the wait. My lil gummy is my luggage. Along the ride I know its in the cargo hold but don't see it until I reach the destination. Her kicks are a reminder of just how precious my cargo is.

think i'll close this post with another ultrasound pic. After all it is a pregnancy blog. enjoy!

Boy parts or Girl parts?

Anatomy Ultrasound. Thats what they called the appointment where my husband and I found out the gender of our lil one. Like alot of first time moms I was sooo anxious and excited! I impatiently counted down the days. Most of my immediate family were guessing girl but a few people guessed boy too. I refused to guess at all! no point in assuming until its perfectly clear, right?Sure why not!

The time had come and I lay there with that weird goo on my belly. The tech had to search all over. I should add that my baby moves around alot! The dance parties in my belly make it hard to measure routine things they look at. Stuff like organ function, heartbeat, fingers and toes.. size of babies head.  Also the entire time the tech was doing that I was just trying to find the genitals lol. The suspense was killing me and it didnt help that the tech was looking for everything BUT what i was looking for. Just as I was thinking it was too early to tell, the ultrasound tech said "looks like your having a little girl".

"WHAT? where?? how can you tell? Oh RIGHT! cuz theres no wang and balls!!! DUH!" thats exactly what I thought. Good thing I didn't say that out loud. It was then that I realized I did see it on the screen. The "it" for a girl is simply the lack of it.. if that makes any sense at all. The ultrasound tech gave us a picture but I felt protective over my little girls parts so I wont be sharing that one. There are already too many pictures of vaginas on the internet to look at!!

So after the "finding" the nervousness set in. I said I didn't care about the gender as long as it was healthy and this is true. But at the same time I worry because I am not that feminine. The only dainty quality that I possess is probably my height. I dont like the color pink and was a tom boy. What am I going to do if my little girl wants to do.... *gasp*.. little girl things?? Oh I was also an incredible pain in the butt as a teenager. What will that part be like?? More new questions and with no answers in site! but theres hope. If mommy fails teach her how to be a lady at least she'll have plenty of aunts to ask. LOL

Bloodshot is the new Glowing!.. Morning sickness

Now that I have posted about the beginning discovery and excitement of my little miracle I wanted to do a post about how that miracle has been treating me through the 1st Trimester. More specifically how things have been in the morning sickness department. I think it differs for every woman and every pregnancy and its important to discuss it because you never know who might relate. Oh and btw I have no tips for beating morning sickness. When I find things that work, other than time, I will share them. Sry!

So I mentioned that I found out at 5weeks. One of the first things I thought of was "I feel absolutely fine! maybe I wont get bad morning sickness." HAHAHA was I wrong. Just before hitting 6 weeks I started noticing a few things.
The first thing was that I had somehow let most of the food in the fridge go bad. I threw out alot of stuff because it smelled wrong.
My hand soap and toothpaste smelled way too strong. How had I not realized they stunk this bad before?
My kitchen sink garbage disposal Must have been broken because that too smelled aweful.
News flash!! This is called pregnancy nose. lol once I recognized it I stopped checking expiration labels.
The dreaded morning sickness kicked in right after I got my super sense of smell. I should've foresaw what was coming.
(Warning. this may get gross)
At first it was just mild nausea. That was pretty much at the 6wk mark. After that the nausea got worse and then I began gagging but never throwing up. I spent entire days running back and forth to the bathroom with no gratification. Even if I was in public, it would come on and I would feel the need to run to a bathroom. In my opinion, this was worse. I kept thinking that if I just vomited I would feel better. If I got nauseated while eating I would spit up whatever food was in my mouth and have to throw the rest of my meal away only to be stricken with hunger pains shortly after.

Finally I got my wish and began actually vomiting. Not always food though. Apparently if you have no gallbladder you're more proned to vomit up bile. Bile tastes like stomach acid. Basically I would heave and heave and HEAVE and yellow colored FIRE would come up. I know that may sound weird but eventually it did turn to food. So my new stomach would make me gag and nauseous all day/every day and I would puke every other day.
One day I heaved so hard that I popped blood vessels all over my face and one eye. The face healed quickly but I had a bloodshot eye for a few weeks. It looked demonic. So much for glowing pregnancy. More like red freckle faced with the terminator eye.
Thankfully this has gotten better. I still puke but not nearly as much. I still get the red freckles from broken blood vessels but only on my cheeks. I really hope that terminator eye was a one time appearance or atleast waits till Halloween nxt time.

that red dot eventually took over the entire sclera. (white part of my eyeball)

TTC no more!

My husband and I have been trying for a baby for over a year. This actually isn't a long time for women who are TTC (trying to concieve), but given my pessimistic nature I was getting discouraged. I was Ms Negative up until April. Thats when the unthinkable happened.

the middle test was the first one i took. see how faint the line is? thats why i took 2 more lol

We'd probably gone through 4 tests, all with a negative result, so by April I had unofficially postponed things. It was stressing me out and I thought maybe a break from "trying" would help. Turns out I didn't need a break. I was 2 days late when I took the test. I dont even really know why I took it. 2 days late isnt exactly the red flag, but I did and guess what? lol it was positive! Just to be sure I took 2 more tests and yup, same thing! Now I had to tell the hubby.

I decided a txt was impersonal and he doesn't have the kind of job where I can just call him. It would have to be an emergency. Instead I waited till he got home and practiced what to say. Funny thing about practicing conversations for me, they never go as planned. The car drove up and I just froze. I was speechless when he came into the house so I took him by the hand and led him to the counter where I'd placed the tests. I figured they'd do the talking for me. He was ecstatic!

After my Dr appointment to confirm it we told the parents. For the record I wanted to wait much longer, in case something went wrong, to tell the rest of my family. I visualized phone chats where I would break the news and get to hear the excitement in their voices. NOT how it worked out. After the first ultrasound picture my husband decided the cat had to be let out of the bag via fb post. I was mortified that my close family found out on the internet but I don't think they were too angry, thank goodness!

@5wks. For some reason it reminded me of a gummy bear so that became the nickname. "my lil gummy bear"

 So theres the beginning! I'll make another post later about how the pregnancy has been treating me so far. Warning, it may be a long one.